Welcome to Cthulhu Mom Games – a blog about my experiences raising a child in a gaming family.
Let It be.
Or Let It Go.
Keep Calm and Game On.
Whichever song title or meme works for you.
I have seen multiple online posts and had the same conversation with my husband way too often. When can I play games with my kid? What games can I play with my child who is age (fill in the blank) that aren’t going to bore me to tears?
I get it. You love your hobby and you want to share it with your child. Trust me, every parent ever who has loved any activity ever feels the same way. When you’re passionate about something you want to share it with those you love and even more so with your own kid(s). The thing is you’re just going to have to be patient.
And maybe just let go of the dream that in some part you cloned yourself. And I know. I have wanted to throw Yog into dance classes from the moment she could walk. But maybe that’s just not who she is or what she wants to do. So she didn’t go until this year when she asked me if she could (you know, to be honest about the fact that I got lucky and she wanted to get involved in something I am interested in).
Sure, kids can follow directions at an early age. They may even enjoy doing so for a short period of time, when it’s a new skill and before they realize they CAN say no. Some rare children may actually be playing games by age three. From everything I’ve read though, most kids don’t have the mental maturity to really sit down and play a game until they’re closer to seven. And that doesn’t mean that on their seventh birthday they magically become gamers. Some kids will be able to sit through a game sooner. Some later. Remember all of those milestones you sweated over in infancy? They’re not gone. There a ton of emotional, physical, and psychological milestones that get completely overshadowed by the focus on infancy and puberty. Not that those stages aren’t important, but I bet if most parents knew as much about their child’s developmental patterns as a little kid as they did about infancy and puberty we would all think differently about how our little kids act. Not that I’m an expert in child development or parenting.
I remember when I started this blog. I wanted to write about our amazing gaming child. I called it a blog about raising a gamer. Then Yog started making her own choices. We had to focus less on nurturing a gamer and more on how we could continue our hobby and support her in her own pursuits. Kind of like any parent ever. It hasn’t happened to us yet, but I’m sure there are afternoons at the sports field or at dance performances in our future. Time that we might want to spend gaming (or doing anything other than sitting in the sun on the sideline of field), but will spend supporting her. There may come a time when instead of packing her off to a gaming convention with us, we’re packing her off to a weekend at her grandparent’s or friend’s while we go to the convention. Or having to take her to a weekend event instead of going to the convention. Maybe we’ll also start choosing purchases differently and consider portability and small play space so that we can bring a game to said event to play while waiting. Because, let’s face it, the parents get there when they drop their kids off, an hour before the event. Then what do you do? Play a game on your phone? Maybe. But as board gamers we have other options.
And all of this is fine. The thing is it took me time to get there. I feel like it took my husband a little bit longer. But he’s much more of a board gamer than I am, he plays solo games because it’s too hard to get even me to the table as often as he would like. I’m more of a larper. And unless you want to spend your in-character time being a parent AND you can find a larp that will welcome a child for the weekend, larping together is something to save for when your child gets older.
I think the only topic I see on forums more often than “when” is one asking for game suggestions for (fill in the blank situation here). And even those tend to be “what can I play with my three-year old?” Unfortunately and fortunately the answer to these tends to be “it depends on who your kid is”. It’s unfortunate because obviously the parent asking is having trouble locating appropriate games. It’s fortunate because there are a lot of smart people out there who know that no two kids are the same. I recommend starting with the age range on the box. Then read the description. You might find that a game rated for an older child might be playable by your child, maybe with a few modifications.
My experience with Yog was that she wanted to “play” games in her toddler years and then in pre-school that fell off. My uneducated guess as to why this happened? Developmentally in her toddler years she wanted to mimic what she saw the people around her doing, which was gaming. That’s how toddlers learn to human, they mimic what they see the people in their environment doing. In pre-school she became aware of herself as an individual and wanted to find ways to assert that. So she became “the kind of girl who doesn’t play games”.
Maybe someday that will change. Maybe it won’t. My job as a parent is to help her be the best her she can be.
Until then my husband and I will have to negotiate gaming time around her needs.
And appreciate the fact that she still has a really early bedtime.
Until next time – Happy and Patient Gaming!